4 Steps Not To Miss Before Going on Your Next First Date
The hardest part of a first date is what to talk about. But even before you go on the actual date you need to have a process. If you're serious about dating and not just "going through the motions", you need to continue reading.
When you think about first dates you think about being freshly showered, the scent of perfume moderately wafting off you, and you exuding confidence? You think about them being dressed nicely, smelling great, looking fine and feeling confident! But hold on, how do you get over the anxiety of actually getting to that first date without wasting your time?
Here are 4 helpful tips for making your first date a success!
- Have a strategy for connection - Allow yourself to be out in public places where you know the person you are looking to connect with might be. Look at your hobbies and the things you enjoy doing and show up there consistently. if you are online dating you cannot just sit and expect that everyone that jumps in your inbox is looking to go on a date. Sometimes there are ulterior motives that come with that initial message. Sometimes the first message is friendly, and sometimes they can be disrespectful. However you have the power to filter these messages and only respond to the ones that resonate with you. However, if you want to have a little more control over your results then you can have a strategy to make your own connection. There are many tools that you can use, but the goal is to take intentional action. Set a goal to the amount of profiles you want to connect with in a day and stay consistent. You will have to have a system for the type of messages you want to send them and at what point in that connection you will exit communication
- Request to continue the connection - If you are meeting in person, this is simple, you have to develop the courage to ask to stay connected (and for my introverts, the courage to get through an initial conversation, you got this). See, if they don’t know you want to stay connected and you don’t know that they want to connect you just wont connect. Don’t just wait and say that God will send your person. Even God told us that faith without works is dead.
- Don’t rush the process - once you have both agreed on continuing the connection, it is ok not to rush. You can learn a lot about a person through text messages that will help you decide if this is someone that you are interested in pursuing further.
- Don’t run from video - It is OK to jump in a video call or have a video date before heading out and meeting someone in person. This is relevant now more than ever, especially since the pandemic doesn’t look like it's going anywhere anytime soon. You can learn about your attraction to this person and make a decision if you want to pursue things further.
These four steps can take you a couple of days or a couple of weeks to work through. It all depends on your preferred pace. First dates can be awkward, scary, and nerve-racking, especially if you're not sure what to do. Once you have gone through the four steps above and have decided to go on the physical date you can use the following to make the process smoother for you:
- 1. Plan Something Fun: Plan a fun activity that you could do together, something that lets you both get to know each other better without being uncomfortably silent.
- 2. Be Yourself: Don't go overboard trying to impress her, just be yourself! Humor goes a long way too!
- 3. If you are really feeling them let them know: Okay, so don't come out and say "I love you." But if they share something really cool about themselves or does something amazing let them know you are feeling it!
- 4. Feel the fun and not the pressure: Remember, it’s a first date, you are not getting married right this minute, you are working your way through the date to see if you develop stronger feelings to take the connection further. Be ok with gaining a boo or simply walking away. Don’t feel obligated to remain friends!
We're always here to help. Before going on this first date find out your own Powermate Dating Personality Type, take the free quiz here!
About the Authors
Rio and Micca Watkins are Powermate Relationship Strategists, Transformational Speakers, and 3x Best Selling Authors. They are also coaches and matchmakers who champion busy singles who are sick and tired of the old way of building relationships and are ready to have peaceful, drama-free love. Rio and Micca use their voices to amplify healthy relationships. Most notable are their appearances in Speakers Magazine, Living the Principles podcast and the Black Speakers Network (BSN) podcast. They use their proprietary Powermate Attraction Framework: Vision + Plan + Action (VPA)© to help singles do dating differently!